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Three Reasons You’re Not Allowed To Root For The Texas Rangers

October 26, 2011

1. No mercy. Don’t give me this, “Hey they let us have it last year, it’s their turn!” tit-for-tat, lily-livered bullsnot. They didn’t “let” us have anything. We took it, pried it from their greasy fingers (greased with BBQ sauce and Skoal slobber, no doubt). They’d have won it if they could, but they couldn’t. Because we did. Remember that? Man…

2. Screw the American League. Quick: think of one thing you like about the American League. (I’ll wait) Nothing, right? Yankees-Red Sox rivalry? Um, yeah…no. Ridiculously high-scoring games? Play RBI baseball with your drunk uncle if that’s what gets you off. The DH? If you said the DH, you are never allowed to read this blog, or anything other than the Cliff’s Notes for The Remains of the Day, again. Ever.

3.

Check and mate.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. October 26, 2011 5:41 pm

    Reason number three cracked me up…

  2. Tito L. Ross permalink
    October 26, 2011 6:17 pm

    Yeah man. If there was no DH I would never be able to see Thome play again or Big Papi. And where would the baseball derby be without Big Pappi smiling and razzing on his cohorts? Nowhere is where.

  3. October 27, 2011 6:29 am

    If Thome gets you hard, he gets you hard. Me, I’ll take a little more strategy and fewer geriatric sluggers limping to the plate…

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