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Judge To Bonds: Take Your Shriveled Balls And Go Home

December 16, 2011

A federal judge sentenced an impassive Barry Bonds to 30 days of house arrest Friday for obstructing justice during an investigation of steroids in sports, saying the slugger’s grand jury testimony was evasive and illegal but did not warrant imprisonment.

Huh. What a fittingly lame, weird end to a lame, weird saga. At least now the feds can stop wasting tens of millions of taxpayer dollars chasing a baseball player who sort of lied about not cheating at baseball.

Remember kids: take your flax seed oil.

Wait, what?

[Judge] Illston put the sentence on hold while Bonds appeals his conviction.

I see. So they’re not done wasting money. They’re going to spend some more to make sure this dangerous criminal is kept off the streets and in his mansion FOR A WHOLE ENTIRE MONTH!

Where are the Tea Baggers when you need them?

[If you’re curious, here’s my general take on the Bonds conundrum.]

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