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The Most Fun All-Star Game Since Ever

July 10, 2012

Go ahead, Yankee guy. Touch him. You know you want to.

I still refer to the All-Star game as a meaningless exhibition even though it isn’t. And I pretended not to care that there were fifty-bajillion Giants (really, look it up) in the starting  lineup even though I totally did.

So let me be the first to say, to the rest of the baseball world: neener, neener, neener.

Admit it: when Pablo came up with the bases loaded in the first, you were imagining a 176-MPH Verlander fastball whizzing past his eyeballs. It would whizz past and then he would swing, so late that the umpire would have to determine whether he was actually taking a practice hack for the next pitch. And some smug Mets fan eating a piece of thin crust pizza off his David Cone commemorative plate would smile smugly. It was coming.

Except it wasn’t. Sandoval hit a triple. A triple! Giants hitters combined to knock in five of the 8 N.L. runs. I don’t have my calculator handy, but I believe that’s a lot. Melky dingered and won the MVP! Matt Cain Matt Cained through two Matt Cainish innings! Posey squatted as only he can squat! And you get a home field advantage, and you get a home field advantage, and you get a home field advantage!

Whew. That was fun.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. ernie sandwich permalink
    July 10, 2012 5:55 pm

    fun, fun???
    i didn’t have fun.

    signed;
    david “the reserve” wright

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