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Giants Organize Run Orgy, No Fatties Show Up

August 3, 2012

Tonight, batting helmets levitated. Or the bat boy turned invisible.

Yesterday I bought a sandwich. Pastrami on rye. On the way out of the store, I dropped it. Mustard, pickles and slabs of meat scattered across the pavement like debris from a fallen 747. Then, on the way to my car, I stepped in dog shit.

As I drove off white-knuckling the wheel, breathing through my mouth and grumbling impotently, I saw a homeless man straddling a trashcan, puking. He was wearing a tattered pair of women’s workout shorts and a really heavy poncho. It was like 100 degrees out. His day was worse than mine.

Perspective.

***

The Giants are still in first place. The Giants scored 16 runs. Ryan Vogelsong is a scowling marvel. Buster Posey is a golden god.

Sure, it was mostly about the Rockies being very, very bad at baseball. Don’t care. Don’t care that Jonathan Sanchez is suddenly the worst pitcher in the galaxy. Don’t care that Wilin Rosario was wearing his mitt on the wrong hand. Don’t care that Matt Reynolds practices his throws to first with a Nerf hoop. The Giants scored a week’s worth of runs (literally — that’s how many runs they scored inย seven games against the Dodgers and Mets). The Giants won. Perspective.

Still wish I had that sandwich.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. GamerBabe from Halfmoon Bay permalink
    August 3, 2012 7:06 pm

    If you can’t hit bad pitching, then you can’t expect to hit good pitching. Yes, the Rockies are bad at baseballing right now, but I’ll still take those 16 runs, kthxbye. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  2. ernie sandwich permalink
    August 3, 2012 7:45 pm

    fire blowchy! fire blowchy!!!

    • August 3, 2012 7:48 pm

      Ernie. Ernie, Ernie, Ernie. I don’t have enough commenters to have trolls, but you’re testing that theory. Say something else or lurk like everyone else. Please?

  3. August 3, 2012 10:11 pm

    Was watching with my girlfriend and once we realized that we were on the preferred end of a laugher, it was suggested that maybe we just ‘fast-forward’ to the end of the 9th. To which we both rightly responded, “F*ck that…we’re watching this one!” ๐Ÿ™‚

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