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Of Giants And All-Stars

June 6, 2013

In case you missed it, MLB released the first round of All-Star voting results.

I’m torn. On the one hand, I kind of like that the Giants are the new trolls of the All-Star game, popping up everywhere and annoying everyone. Plus, we’re the defending champs (doncha know) so it’s totally fair to rub the nerds’ faces in the dirt every once in a while.

On the other hand, stop it guys. Seriously. Don’t make Brandon Belt an All-Star. That would be stupid and he would get made fun of and be a sad giraffe. No one likes a sad giraffe.

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On the other, other hand, the All-Star game is a silly exhibition (except when it gives your team home-field advantage in the World Series and leads to a decisive sweep doncha know) and who cares who gets voted in.

With all that in mind, let’s take a look at which Giants actually deserve to be at Citi Field in July and which ones should be home resting their long, giraffe-like necks.

Yes of course are you freaking kidding he’s Buster Posey build him a statue already
Buster Posey

Should go (based on current performance)
Marco Scutaro

Could go (based on current performance), but not as a starter
Brandon Crawford, Pablo Sandoval

Maybe if you squint
Hunter Pence

Nope
Everyone else

This is, obviously, excluding pitchers, who like the reserves get picked by the manager. And who’s the manager, again?

Oh. Right.

Oh. Right.

Sorry, other fans. You’re gettin’ trolled.

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