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Tyler Colvin Is Happy Brandon Belt Broke His Thumb, And Other Reasons Why Sports Are Weird

May 13, 2014

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Colvin would never admit it, of course. That would be sick. Also: honest.

It takes such a crazy combination of ability and luck to even whiff the big leagues. Sticking around on a 25-man roster is getting struck by lightening while piloting a submersible with James Cameron. Tyler Colvin hit 20 home runs in his first full season with the Cubs. The Cubs, who are begging the guy on Addison Street with the day-old Sun Times and Windex bottle to come take a few hacks in the cage. Four years later he was riding the bus in Fresno. That’s how it works.

Then, Paul Fucking Maholm threw a high tight one. An inch higher or an inch lower or an inch to the side and Colvin is still in Fresno. Dirty, stinky Fresno. Instead, he’s bellying up to the pre-game spread at AT&T and listening to the sound of 40,000 people screaming in unison as he hits a baseball into the ocean.

Sports are weird.

***

In related news: Tim Lincecum. I haven’t written about Timmy in a while because, really, what’s left to say? The velocity ain’t coming back, the command is erratic. No amount of analysis or handwringing is going to re-animate the good Tim, the Cy Young Tim. It’s over.

Or not. 

That was the same Lincecum we’ve seen all year, but this time he was missing bats. Braves were flailing. His mustache grew three sizes that day. There will be more erratic starts, more tire fires, more tears. But for one night, at least, we got to marvel at the new/old/new Lincecum, and lo it was grand. Add three RBI from Tyler Colvin, minor league free agent, and one RBI from Brandon Hicks, minor league free agent, and there’s your recipe.

Sports are weird.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. May 13, 2014 11:45 am

    ‘Weird’ probably is one the most apt adjectives applicable to the last two days in Giants history, but I’m just going to go with FAWESOME myself. Sunday had one of the best post game commentary lines ever from Kuip, “I’m gonna barf!” Hope you’re having as much fun as I am, Señor Shafer!

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